Yes, it’s almost that time of year again. The Festival of Urges is just around the corner. “Norman, it’s called the Festival of Love,” I can already hear you say in my mind. Well… let’s take a closer look. Is Christmas for most people really still a celebration of love – or rather a celebration of urges and pressure? We are driven by what we’ve always done. 9 out of 10 people I know are already rolling their eyes at the thought of spending a few “peaceful” hours or days with the crooked side of the family they could easily do without – even at Christmas. But hey, dear tradition makes it impossible to escape. Lego, puzzles, and Christmas stress are just around the corner once again. What I really want to get at today is this: When did the goal become more important than the journey?
Whether it’s Christmas, a vacation, or a thousand other things – it often feels (at least for us Germans) as if everything is about successfully reaching a goal. The perfectly planned Christmas. In the evening, everything has to be perfect. Meanwhile, in the days and weeks before, we rush around, stressed and annoyed that we invited so many people and that it’s all actually far too much. You can’t find a turkey in the right size, prices go through the roof, and the gifts seem to have to become more and more expensive every year. We often endure the exhausting journey just because we hope the goal will be something beautiful in the end. That reminds me of Christmas many years ago, when I used to get Lego as a gift. The real joy was in the building itself. And yes, I did play with the finished vehicle afterward. But I know parents whose kids only build – and then don’t play with it at all. My two boys are like that. They build it, and then it just stands there. “You don’t even play with it. Next time you won’t get any Lego anymore. It just sits around anyway.” But what if the child was never interested in the goal (playing with the finished car) – but only in the joy and fun of the journey (the building itself)?
Or imagine you’re putting together a 10,000-piece puzzle. And the very last piece is missing. I can already hear many of us swearing. “All that effort – and now the last piece is missing? I could smash something right now. What the hell…” And you start getting angry at the company that maybe forgot the piece. Or at the child who might have hidden it. Or at the robot vacuum that possibly swallowed it. So let me ask you: Did you only do the puzzle so it would be finished? And then what? You know you’ve made it. Goal achieved. Woohoo. And then? Emptiness. On to the next goal.
What if puzzling was so much fun for you that it didn’t matter whether one piece was missing? Or whether the child actually played with the Lego afterward? Or whether the wine with dinner was one degree too warm? If you had joy and fun along the way, the slightly “imperfect” ending wouldn’t matter at all. Because you already had all the joy on the journey. But if you draw your happiness and sense of winning only from the result – while pouring frustration and lack into the journey – then it’s no surprise that every tiny deviation from the norm makes you jump out of your skin.
So maybe you’d like to have more fun again on the way toward (y)our goal – and use the goal only as a rough direction, a kind of compass for where you’re heading. Enjoy the journey, be happy about surprises along the way, and detach yourself from the outcome itself. That will save you an incredible amount of energy and stressful moments.
As for me – right now we’re boarding the Mein Schiff 3. And that’s exactly where I get to practice this again and again. The destinations or islands aren’t what matter most to me. It’s the journey itself. With the wonderful crew, the lovely guests, and the amazing people we meet along the way in different countries. Maybe you, too, can enjoy your own journey a little more and celebrate every single moment in which you get to do what you love. Whether that’s puzzling, talking, or anything else. We’ll be away for now and will spend the next 1.5 months once again inspiring thousands of people to find more joy in what they do – and in who they are.
