What a beautiful statement: “Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice.” Have you ever truly reflected on this? That life will throw things at you that you didn’t expect is inevitable. But holding onto that pain and carrying it around for decades? That is your decision.
In one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s newsletters, he mentioned a study whose insights I want to share with you, as they fit perfectly with today’s topic.
Science Says: Let It Go
We’ve all heard that suppressing negative thoughts is harmful to mental health. But what if the opposite is true?
Research suggests that training your brain to suppress negative thoughts can actually improve mental health, reduce anxiety, and increase overall well-being.
In a global study, participants focused on negative, neutral, and positive thoughts and were then trained to suppress them.
Contrary to popular belief, suppressing negative thoughts did not backfire. Instead, it significantly improved participants’ mental health. In fact, those who blocked out negative experiences experienced a 50% reduction in depression and anxiety symptoms.
Even more surprising, those who trained their brains to suppress thoughts showed better memory and cognitive control compared to those who didn’t.
Researchers believe that suppressing negative thoughts helps to weaken their emotional impact over time, reducing emotional stress and improving cognitive flexibility. This challenges the traditional psychological model that suppression leads to a “rebound effect” (where suppressed thoughts come back even stronger).
This doesn’t mean you should ignore all your problems. But it does mean that you should choose your battles wisely and recognize that some stressors are only worsened by constantly dwelling on them.
If you struggle with intrusive negative thoughts, actively suppressing them instead of engaging with or analyzing them may help you in the long run. Try setting aside time each day to practice letting go of unwanted thoughts rather than overthinking them. You might find that, over time, they no longer control you, leading to greater mental clarity and emotional resilience.
The Key: Shift Your Focus
What a wonderful realization. My blue glasses concept (focusing on what you want) is now scientifically validated. So the question isn’t whether you can shift your focus, but when you will choose to do so.
Spend more time focusing on the things that make you feel good instead of telling everyone about your worries and struggles every week. Because by doing so, you keep the old negativity alive.
And if you find yourself unable to let go, ask yourself: What benefit do I get from holding onto this story? Maybe it brings you sympathy. Or attention. Or makes you feel heard. Or something else entirely.
Everything you can’t let go of is something you don’t want to let go of—because holding onto it gives you more than releasing it ever could. Look at it closely. Because when you truly understand your “opponent,” you’ll know exactly what you need to do to remove it from your life.
