A few days ago, I received a lovely email in response to my last newsletter (the heart-shaped traffic lights in Iceland). “We immediately put your tip into practice today and instead of turning on the evening news, we worked on creating the photo book of our wonderful trip to the North.”
You can’t imagine how much that one sentence made my heart jump. For this wonderful person, it was the first—or perhaps the next—step in a new direction: toward more happiness, joy, and fulfillment.
And that’s exactly what it’s about: habits.
In the past, it was normal to switch on the evening news every single night. It just belonged to the routine. Just like not complaining, but “pushing through.” Generations before us showed us this way of living. Not out of ill will, but because it was their only strategy to cope with life. Emotions were swallowed, conflicts ignored, and new ideas often rejected. “That’s how it’s done” was a survival strategy.
Today, we can see what this attitude has done to many elderly people:
- Decades of suppressed emotions that show up in old age as bitterness and loneliness.
- Relationships without closeness, because people never learned how to talk about their feelings.
- Rigidity that is not a character flaw, but rather an unfulfilled inner need for safety and security.
And you know what? That’s what was passed down to us. Because what choice was there back then? There was no internet with alternative information and hardly any books with “different” ideas. Nobody could pass on anything other than what they had learned themselves.
But here’s the good news: You can do it differently today.
You can begin to consciously choose your own habits. You don’t have to keep running the “program of the past.”
In the evening, simply turn the dial and choose joy instead of the news. Say what you truly feel—first to yourself, and then, if you like, to others as well. Allow yourself closeness, honesty, and real connection. “A brave man doesn’t show pain” belongs to the past, just like “Silence is golden.” Are you willing to slowly open your heart and talk about your “pain”? By doing so, you will gradually break through the patterns of yesterday and write a new story—for yourself, for your children, for everyone who comes after you.
This week, simply observe yourself: where are you still stuck in old habits? Then replace just one of them with something that truly brings you joy—instead of continuing the old one out of sheer habit. You’ll be amazed at how much lighter your heart feels.
With love and joy for shaping your own new habits.
