The author Ian MacLaren once said: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” And that’s exactly what I’d like to talk about with you this week.
We often get annoyed or upset about others – whether at the checkout, in traffic, or in our personal environment. “Did you hear what he did again? That’s just not okay.” would be a typical equivalent of such a reaction. The fact is: Whenever you get upset about something or someone, it triggers something within you. It’s like a switch inside you gets turned on.
Now the interesting question is: Is the other person really to blame? Or can they actually do nothing about your switch – because it’s inside you? And it’s YOUR switch that gets activated.
Yes, I know. You probably have a great story right now about why others are responsible for your frustration. But look: The other person might be the trigger, yet they are not the cause of your feeling.
My friend and colleague Carsten Risse told me yesterday after my talk here in the theater on Mein Schiff 2: “The video at the end of your keynote really got me again. The older man who fakes his death so the family comes together – something that was impossible before.” And why did that video move Carsten so deeply? Because family is important to him.
In my keynotes, I always see very different reactions to the same stories and videos. Some people cry their eyes out. Others don’t react at all. That’s because of your inner switches. If you’ve never been bullied, a short video about a woman who was bullied her whole life and now stuns everyone in a casting show might not affect you much. But if you know that situation – and you’ve always wished to finally be seen – then you can barely see the screen through your tears.
Do you see that none of this has anything to do with the content of the video, the statements of others, or the situations in the world? It has everything to do with your own experiences and your own story. So if that’s the case, wouldn’t it make sense not to blame others for your emotional state, but to realize that they simply acted the way they did?
They did something for themselves – not against you.
Because most of the time, others don’t even know which switches you carry inside you, or what triggers them. So how do you deal with that?
Think of Ian MacLaren’s words in „interesting“ situations: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Assume that everyone carries their own burdens –
burdens you often don’t even see. And everyone overreacts sometimes, because the pressure at work, at home, or somewhere in between becomes too much. Unfortunately, that’s exactly when you might show up. And suddenly you get snapped at, honked at, or insulted. Mel Robbins would say: Let them.
Just smile. Wish the other person the very best (even if only in your thoughts) and move on. Because maybe they’re simply at the edge of their emotional capacity. Let’s bring back more understanding instead of seeing everything in black and white. The world is colorful and joyful… if we all choose to color it that way.
