“Philip, would you like to come to school and pick up Luis with me?” Philip looks at me, and a brief moment of consideration later, a rather indifferent “whatever” comes from my middle one. I love such an answer like a stomachache. Whatever… whatever? I formulate this somewhat assertive sentence more diplomatically for my junior: “More like yes or more like no?” “I don’t know.” Well, there it is again, the question of all questions: How do I make the right decision?

How do I make the right decision?

I put down my glass of water, smile at Philip, and say, “Whatever and ‘I don’t know’ are not answers to my question. However, if we look at them precisely, they are answers. Just packaged strangely.” Philip looks a bit confused. “Look, if I were to ask your brother Luis if he wants to drink vanilla milk, he will scream YES before I even finished the question.” Philip nods. “And what does that mean? That when it comes to things you definitely want, only one answer pops out of your mouth. Yes, absolutely, hell yes, definitely, or even the Swabian version – ha scho.” Don’t ask me why we say “ha scho.”

Should I say Yes or No?

The fact is, when it comes to things you really want, you always answer with a super-fast Yes. So, what do statements like “I don’t know,” “you decide,” or “whatever” automatically lead us to? Well, if it’s not a clear YES, then it’s a… NO. Feel free to remember the golden rule: If your counterpart doesn’t shoot a Yes right out of the barrel, lean more towards a No.

Make a decision

“Dad, I understand that. What if I’m really busy with something completely different that has nothing to do with the question… can I take a moment to think about it?” Smart boy, smart question. “Of course you can. If you’re mentally somewhere else, definitely. But in most cases, we humans are not. And we think that if we reconsider it, sleep on it for a night, or whatever else, it will get better. Yes, rationally, you might come to a Yes. But again – when it comes to something you definitely want, you don’t think about it. The answer is clear right away. And that initial impulse you might feel (for those who still feel something and are not completely confused by all the negative news and the chaos of the so-called statesmen), lets you know right away whether the decision will be a Yes or No. If it feels good and you feel good about it, it’s a Yes. If you have to think about whether it feels good, it’s a decision from the head, and therefore a No. Just trust your gut feeling more, and you will always make the right decision. Because someone who doesn’t decide clearly is still making a decision. Waiting and thinking about it is essentially a No. So, say “No, not right now.” That might change in the future. Then you say Yes. End of story.

By the way, Philip did come to school with me to pick up Luis. I believe that this “whatever” is a youth thing to be cool. The question I would love to raise; do you want to be cool or happy? You decide.

Have fun practicing and implementing.